January 14, 2019

5 Ways to Keep Your Child’s Anger in Control or Anger Management

In this article, you will learn about 5 ways to keep your child’s anger in control or anger management. The period between 18 months and 3 years is an exciting time. Toddlers are becoming aware that they are separate individuals from their parents and the other important people in their world. This means that they are eager to assert themselves, communicate their likes and dislikes, and act independently (as much as they can!). At the same time, they still have limited self-control and are just beginning to learn important skills like waiting, sharing and turn-taking. One of the greatest challenges in dealing with aggressive behavior is that it can feel very hurtful to parents, both emotionally and physically. When your baby yanks on your nose and won’t let go, grabs at earrings, pulls hair, bites when breastfeeding, or bats his hand at you when you take away a forbidden object, it is perfectly natural to feel a flash of frustration or even anger. However, babies do not mean to hurt or upset their loved ones. They are simply exploring the world around them through their senses. They learn how the world works by biting, mouthing, grabbing, shaking and dropping, and swatting and seeing what happens as a result, which is usually a pretty big reaction.

Here’s How you can Help Control Your Child’s Anger Issues –

1. Establish Anger Rules :

Anger rules should center around behaving respectfully toward others. Most families have unofficial family rules about what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t when it comes to anger. Some families don’t mind doors being slammed and voices being raised while other families have less tolerance for such behaviors. Create written household rules that outline your expectations. Address areas such as physical aggression, name-calling, and destruction of property so that your child understands he can’t throw things, break things or lash out verbally or physically when he’s mad.

2. Have Your Child Take a Break :

Some children actually calm down much more quickly when given the chance to be by themselves in a safe, quiet place. This is not punishment. It is an important strategy to help children learn to soothe themselves and regain control—a critical life skill. Think of and call this safe, quiet space as a kind of “cosy corner”. It might have some pillows, stuffed animals, books and small, safe toys. Have your child help design it with you. The more she feels she has a role in it, the more likely she will accept using it. When your child does pull herself together, it is very important that you acknowledge this big step by telling her what a good job she did calm herself down.

3. Teach Healthy Coping Skills :

Kids need to know appropriate ways to deal with their anger. Instead of being told, “Don’t hit your brother,” explain what she can do when she feels frustrated. Say, “Next time, use your words,” or, “Walk away from him when you feel angry.” You can also ask, “What could you do instead of hitting?” to help your child begin to identify strategies that she finds helpful. You might create a calm down kit that she can use when she’s upset. Fill a box with items that can help her calm down, such as a coloring book and crayons, the lotion that smells good, or soothing music. Engaging her senses can help calm her mind and her body. Use time-out as a tool to help your child calm down. Teach her that she can put herself in time-out before she gets into trouble. Removing herself from the situation and taking a few minutes to herself can help her calm down.

4. Use Words and Gestures to Communicate Your Message :

Words alone may not be enough to get your toddler to stop an unacceptable activity. To help your child understand your message, use an authoritative, matter-of-fact (not angry or screaming) voice. At the same time, use a “stop” or “no-no” gesture along with your words. You might say, No hitting, hitting hurts, as you take her hand and hold it by her side, firmly but not angrily. Keep in mind, it takes many, many repetitions, hearing the words together with the actions, before the words alone are enough.

5. Set a Good Example :

Children mimic adults so the way you handle your own anger and frustration is sure to affect your child. Model positive coping skills like doing something that calms you or getting away from a frustrating situation and your child is likely to do the same.

Bonus tip

Keep a Log Book
Write a log after each blow-up. Record the events leading up to the angry outburst and how it finally resolved. Be sure to record not only what your child did — but also what you and others did. Assign an intensity rating from 0 to 10. Watch the clock to see how long the blow up lasted and record that, too. After a week or a month, can you see a theme? As you embark on making changes, you’ll want to know things are improving. The blow-ups won’t go away overnight, but if they are less frequent, less intense and shorter then you are making headway! Don’t give up too soon.

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